My total failure

I have lots of issues.  Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am a total head case.  That being said .... I know I'm a head case so it's no big deal right?  Ha.  

I have a really hard time doing things I suck at - I usually avoid anything that I suck at.  I don't play cards, board games, go bowling, play mini-golf - stuff that any normal person would just do and enjoy.  I can't make myself enjoy them so I avoid them.  In college when boys would take me out on dates bowling or to play mini-golf I would end up yelling, swearing, throwing my clubs, etc.  SO EMBARRASSING and so lame of me.  Thank goodness Todd never took me bowling!

Anyways....now that I have set the stage you'll see that putting it out there and signing up for the Crossfit Open this year is a big deal for me.  I've been really doing crossfit since November of last year and I am way stronger than when I started.  But, I've still got a long way to go.  I knew I wouldn't be able to "compete" in the open but I thought at least I'd be able to do some of every workout.  

The 14.1 WOD was:

Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 10 minutes of:
30 double-unders
55-lb. power snatches, 15 reps

I got a score of 134.  I learned that I really need to work on my double unders. 

14.2 WOD was:

For as long as possible:
From 0:00-3:00
  2 rounds of:
  10 overhead squats, 95 / 65 lb.
  10 chest-to-bar pull-ups
From 3:00-6:00
  2 rounds of:
  12 overhead squats, 95 / 65 lb.
  12 chest-to-bar pull-ups
From 6:00-9:00
  2 rounds of:
  14 overhead squats, 95 / 65 lb.
  14 chest-to-bar pull-ups
Etc., following same pattern

 

I tried it last Friday morning and got a score 0.  Yep I can't overhead squat 65 lbs.  I tried and failed over and over for 3 minutes.  My previous PR for OHS was 33 lbs then Thursday night when the workout was announced one of my trainers worked with me and I got a new PR of 45lbs.  I still had to jump 20 more pounds the next day.  I tried on Friday morning and just couldn't get it.  I was so upset and mad at myself for not being able to do it.  I was in tears and was pissed off all day.  I went back to the gym that afternoon and worked on my OHS more but knew I was too fatigued to try again.  Then Saturday I worked on them again for another hour until my trainer sent me home because I was so fatigued.  I still couldn't get more than 45 lbs.  But my form was better and I could do 45 lbs multiple times in a row.   

 

This morning I gave it one more try.  I got a new PR of 55 lbs - which I am VERY happy about and gave it my all but didn't quite get that 65 lb OHS.  What am I learning from this workout?  Building muscles is important and takes time.  I am determined to have all my RX weights by this fall - and I'm going to work hard and eat right in order to get there.  I am not going to beat myself up over this.  I worked hard and gave it my all.  I read this article today and it solidified the feelings I already had about 14.2.

 

Most of my big hard fitness goals haven't come to me on my first try.  I felt the exact same amount of frustration last Friday as I did after the UV Marathon in 2012 when I missed qualifying for Boston by a 4 minutes.